When your youngest child starts school, the adjustment can be bigger than you expect.
My last child started school this year. It was a big milestone for him but possibly even bigger for me, his mum.
His older sister has been going to school for some time so he was used to going there, dropping her off and picking her up. He even started Kwan Ki Do lessons at the school when he was four years old, so in a way he already felt quite a strong connection to it I’m sure.
Since his birthday is in April, my hubby and I had decided to hold him back a year, so he’d be five starting kindy but soon turning six.
I hadn’t wrestled too much with the idea of not having him around every day, as I knew that when he started school I’d get a fair amount of time back during the day to work on my passions – the Red Tent and Acubirth, spend time with friends, and think more about cooking delicious meals for the family. I was a bit hungry for that time.
What’s one year I told myself. It wasn’t much for me, but could mean a whole lot to him. He’s only young once, he’s my second child and last. We decided to savour his last year.
The Decision: When To Send Your Child To School
The decision to hold your child back or start them sooner is really personal and will be different for every child.
My child is for the most part a quiet soul. When he was younger he liked lots of mummy-only time, always close to me, never wanting me to even venture to the next room without letting him know about it. He was a highly clingy baby and if he could have got back into my uterus, he would have. He just wanted to be with me morning, noon and night and never seemed to tire of me.
Such love, I would tell my tired self. This is what you wanted and now you’ve got it. So I chose to lap it up.
Our Extra Year Together Before School Started
We had a beautiful year together, spending lots of time with the little mates he had made at pre-school, baking cookies and cakes, playing with Play Dough, teaching him how to play Uno (he’s super good now and can beat me fair and square), playing all kinds of board games, scooting, bike riding, having picnics, going to the park and the beach and seeing lots of our extended family.
That year last year was a big one. It was the year he lost his dear cousin, who was just a year older than him, to cancer of the nervous system – neuroblastoma. It was such a confronting and traumatic year for us on many levels and it really brought home what was important. All that stuff that you hear that doesn’t really sink in until you’re faced with a tragedy so close to home. That’s the stuff.
It was also the year our family dog of 15 years passed away.
So we savoured the everyday chores, realising that it’s amazing that we are able to do them and be with each other. We spent a lot of time at home. While his cousin was sick in hospital and when we were all clear of colds and sniffles, we spent a lot of time at the hospital, and time with his cousins and our family.
I was ever more conscious of just being in the moment with each other and listening to each other as much as possible.
As I write this it makes me realise that he would have grown up so much in that year because of all the things that were going on in his family with his cousin and our dog. It was a highly emotional year. He saw his parents being upset quite a lot.
What To Expect When Your Youngest Child Starts School
So when it came to starting kindy this year, I didn’t really know what to expect. He seemed so ready.
Sooooo many people had been asking him whether he was excited or not and he was often replying no. Or not really looking at them and looking at the floor. Like I said, he’s a quiet one.
First day of kindy came. He got into his school clothes to go to school with his sister and just hang out before the bell rang. He seemed confident but he didn’t know anyone going to school in his grade so it could have gone either way.
Then when it came to it and his name was called, he went up on stage with his backpack, with all the other kindy kids in his class. He smiled and walked off without looking back.
And that was it. He was off and I was walking home from school alone for the first time. No one’s hand to hold.
The Whirlwind of Emotions When Your Last Child Starts School
I clearly remember walking across the park and looking over into the playground at all the mums playing with their tots and rocking their prams. I was filled with pangs of “Oh no, it’s all over” and feelings of “Did I enjoy it enough?” No, probably not.
“Was I present all the time to all that love?” Nope, but I tried my best.
“I’ll never be rocking a pram again that’s mine.” I haven’t rocked a pram that was mine in ages anyway and when I was, it just wasn’t that pretty picture I was now conjuring up in my mind.
I decided to just let my crazy thoughts be. Let them come and go. And each day that I go to school to drop him off, he tells me, “You don’t have to come in mum.” But I still do. I love seeing who he’s playing with and chatting with and who his new mates are.
He’s so happy and just loving it all. It’s a joy to watch.
How did you feel when your youngest child started school? Or if that’s in the future, how do you think you will feel, and how do you want to feel?