I had always been a big believer in alternative and natural therapies to support my health and wellbeing, and so when it came to my pregnancy, there was no exception. I have a thirst for knowledge in this area, and read up on everything humanly possible.
The Birth Plan
I hadn’t grown up thinking or planning that I would have a birth anywhere else but a hospital, but when I was about 6 weeks pregnant my husband and I were discussing whether or not we should go public or private and felt we didn’t have enough knowledge about either. As it was still early on in my pregnancy, I didn’t speak to anyone in my community or friends so it was hard to know what to do, but I did speak to my cousin who highly recommended her private obstetrician. I made two appointments with two different recommended obstetricians for 6 weeks time, and also put our name down with the GP shared care at the public hospital as we were already too late for the midwifery teams and The Birthing Centre at RHW.
Still confused as to what we wanted to do, I phoned a past colleague of mine Sheryl, who was a midwife at RHW and had worked there for many years as well as while I was a social work student. We had kept in touch over the past 10 or so years as we always had a strong connection and she was so happy to receive my call that I was pregnant. She told me that she no longer worked at the Royal, but was doing full-time private midwifery, facilitating homebirths. I hadn’t heard much about homebirths occurring in Australia before and she invited my husband Rob and I to come and have a tea and a chat with her so we could discuss all the possibilities.
Sheryl has the most warm and inspiring energy. Rob and I felt so comfortable in her presence, like visiting a family member we hadn’t seen in a while, and her experience and knowledge were unparalleled. I noticed how safe I felt with her, and felt so supported and cared for as a special individual pregnant woman and person.
When we walked out of Sheryl’s clinic, Rob, my risk-adverse, sensible, considered and loving husband, said “Let’s do it! Let’s do a homebirth!”
After considering all the options, what I felt was most important to me in terms of prenatal care was a personal, individual approach. It can be a very anxiety-provoking time being pregnant … so many changes are occurring in your body, so many emotions. I knew my life was about to change in the most extraordinary way and I really felt like I needed a huge amount of support.
I felt that for the actual birth of my baby, as wonderful as my hubby is, his support alone wouldn’t be enough. I felt that the care I would get from a private obstetrician wouldn’t be to the same level as Sheryl would be able to offer me. I wanted someone I could SMS or call and ask questions when I had concerns, and to have that continuity of care by someone who had an invested interest in me as a person and a mum-to-be.
So we went with Sheryl, knowing that if anything were to go pear-shaped, Sheryl would be aware of this early on. We were a 4-minute drive to the RHW and could be transferred straight there. We discussed all the “what-ifs” with her, and all my appointments with Sheryl were at least an hour – so not only did I get the usual checkups, I received so much support and knowledge along the way as well.
Birth Preparation and Acupressure
To prepare for the birth I did lots of reading, and watched lots of home water births as well. My husband thought I was mad, but I really wanted to know what to expect – the noises, the emotion, what it looks like for a baby’s head to come out of a vagina! I felt it helped me to imagine myself in that position and prepare myself for the real deal!
At around 30 weeks my husband and I also attended Peter Jackson’s Calm Birth weekend in Bowral, which was a nice chance for us to get away for the weekend and focus our attention on the birth, the baby, and each other. I had heard of The Red Tent Health Centre from some friends who said the acupuncture really helped them. I started to see Bec for the weeks leading up to the birth, to help prepare my body physically and mentally.
I knew that at the birth I wanted to have my sister and mum there with me as well as my husband, and felt I wanted to empower them with some tools to help me labour, rather than leave them feeling helpless as I went through the pain. Another friend who had a drug-free natural birth swore by acupressure, so I booked us all into an acupressure course with Bec at the Red Tent, which was really enjoyable for us all.
Bec had such a beautiful way of presenting the theory, and we enjoyed her gentle nature and good humour! We walked away from the course with some tools, and were able to practice on each other, and they did indeed come in handy during my labour. There were times when my mum, sister and husband all took turns pressing into a point between my thumb and pointer finger as I found this to be a pain reliever. A few weeks before I gave birth I woke up feeling nauseous, and my husband used a pressure point again then and this helped! Anna-Maria’s labour cream was also great for the aches and pains leading up to the birth, and I remember my sister rubbing it into my back during labour.
Labour
Well, my birth, as with many others, wasn’t what we expected! My waters broke early (38 weeks and 2 days) after a big swim at 5.30pm on a Saturday night. I had previously tested as strep B positive, so my midwife, husband and I had discussed what would happen if I didn’t go into established labour and entered a “risky” zone for bub. I experienced early labour all of Saturday night, trying to rest but needing to stand every ten minutes at the edge of the bed doing steady breathing and listening to Nadine Richardson from She Births, trying to get myself into the zone and get into a more established labour.
But come Sunday morning, the labour had almost ceased completely and nothing much more into the afternoon. After discussions with our midwife we decided that the best thing to do would be to go to hospital so that I could have penicillin and also syntocinon to help bring labour on, since my waters had been broken for close to 24 hours now.
I was pretty devastated. I cried and said as I cuddled my hubby, “I don’t want to go to hospital!” I wasn’t really prepared for it, but packed a bag and off we went. It was awful for me to have to be hooked up to machines and have cannulas, monitors etc, especially after wanting my very special natural birth, but the midwives at the hospital were so attentive, lovely, respectful and supportive and allowed me to decorate the delivery suite with candles and my beautiful hand-made “bunting” with messages from all my girlfriends which they had made for me at my baby blessing. I felt really held and loved in that space, and open to the journey ahead…on a different path. My mum drove my hubby and I to the hospital and my sister came later, as well as Sheryl my midwife.
The Birth
Before long the synto had kicked in and I started getting contractions quite hard and fast. I didn’t want to get off the pilates ball as I was in too much pain, and I felt it particularly in my back. I remember when the contractions began I’d say to myself “here we go!” and then in the middle of it I’d say “I can’t do this” and then as it decreased I’d say “ahh…it’s going”. I laboured like this for about 5 hours, and my mother, sister and husband took turns doing acupressure points on me. I particularly found the one on the hand (between thumb and index finger) useful, especially as it’s like holding hands as well. I sometimes liked the points on my back and other times the ones on my ankles. Until finally I thought “this is getting easier”… but really the contractions were just starting to die down again.
My midwife suggested I have some gas so they could perform an internal. It had been over 24 hours, and I was 1cm dilated… 1cm! I was exhausted. And bub was posterior, which is why I was getting the excruciating back pain.
My midwife could see how exhausted I was, she was so supportive and loving and told me how hard I had worked, but suggested it was probably a good idea to have an epidural so I could rest and perhaps it would relax my body to help the labour come along. In a way I was relieved. I was deliriously tired. It was around midnight on Sunday by this stage, and we thought it best that my mum and sister went home.
I had the epidural and soon after just as I was getting comfy I said to the midwife that something was wrong. I felt a bearing down sensation inside me, as if I was being pulled in different directions. Suddenly the emergency button was pressed, and about 6 people came into the room. I was being pulled and poked and prodded, and someone was giving me gas. I kept hearing things like “we haven’t been able to locate a heartbeat in 6 minutes”… my husband was panicking … he feared the worst.
Letting Go
I didn’t understand what was happening, but beneath the fear I knew everything was going to be OK somehow. I was 3cm dilated and bub was posterior. I had had what’s called a “tonic contraction” which is a contraction that goes for an elongated period of time and can cause distress to the baby. They located the heartbeat, and then things stabilised, but the Obs thought it best that I have a c-section due to me being not dilated enough and because bub had been in distress.
I looked up to the bunting that my friends had made me, and one friend had written “LET IT GO!”… so I did. I let go and surrendered to the journey. At that moment bursting through my exhaustion was an intense feeling of excitement knowing I would be meeting my precious baby in a matter of minutes. I thought to myself… OK…I’ve had every intervention imaginable. This baby wants to come in a different way.
The team respected my wishes to keep my placenta, and explained that they couldn’t do delayed cord clamping as they needed the blood to test the pH levels. They also said they couldn’t put bub on my chest right away as the paediatrician would need to check bub out and make sure all was OK. Again, I had to let it go!
In the theatre, my husband was right there next to me. I heard the baby’s cries as she was lifted out of me and they held the baby up towards us and my husband shouted “It’s a GIRL!” I was stunned!!!!! I just kept shouting I can’t believe it! I can’t believe it!!!!!!! (I could’ve sworn I was having a boy!) and I lay there in awe of this little creature! The doctors took her to an adjacent room and I told my hubby not to leave her side. They spoke to me from the next room telling me how “alert” she is and how healthy she is, so I was relieved. I just wanted to see her and get to know her.
Pure Joy
My hubby spent the first hour of my baby’s life with her on his chest and I felt really happy for him that he was able to have this time with her. As I lay in recovery resting, I couldn’t stop smiling.
So I wanted a beautiful home water birth… and my little girl came into this world in a very different way. But you know what? The most joyous part of my birth was when I was in the operating theatre – the coldest, most clinical part of my entire labour – because I knew I was in safe hands and about to meet my baby after a long and tiring journey. I was brave and positive and feeling grateful that I had access to such fantastic equipment and professionals. I am still a huge advocate for natural births and natural/alternative therapies, but know that there is always a place for medicine too.