On the eve of International Women’s Day, it feels fitting to reframe a stage of life that was often spoken about in hushed tones—menopause. Rather than viewing it mostly with frustration or fear, what if we embraced it as a powerful transition? Instead of seeing it as a decline, what if we embraced it as a rite of passage—a transition to wisdom, power, and deeper self-awareness? In Chinese culture, menopause is not viewed as a loss but as a transformation—a shift into a stage where a woman’s energy turns inward, allowing for reflection, growth, and the cultivation of wisdom. But like any significant transition, the ease with which it unfolds, depends on how well we’ve prepared for it and culturally, we haven’t been primed to do that. We’ve been primed to value the opposite.
The Importance of Preparation: Caring for Yourself Before the Change
Menopause isn’t something that suddenly happens at 50. It’s the result of everything that came before it. How well a woman transitions through perimenopause and menopause has much to do with how she has supported her body in the years leading up to it. In Chinese medicine, the body needs to be well-nourished with warm, wet foods like nutrient-rich soups and stews, enough water to sustain itself, and a lifestyle that allows for rest and replenishment. But in this demanding, modern world, how often do women truly prioritise these things?
The reality is that most women have spent decades giving—to their children, they now give to their aging parents, their families, their partners, their jobs. The unrelenting financial demands do not offer any ease or reward in stepping back. Taking time for oneself comes at a financial cost, often in the form of reduced work hours, fewer career opportunities, or an increased burden on savings. For many, that cost is simply too high. So we soldier on, “sucking it up,” pushing through exhaustion, and ignoring our own needs.
From a Chinese medicine perspective, the more we push through, the more we don’t listen to our bodies, the more our ‘blood’ literally holds onto those unresolved emotions, leaving less nourishment for our whole system. Over time, this depletion catches up with us, and menopause becomes a harsher experience than it needs to be.
The Common Threads I See in Women Struggling with Menopause
After treating women for over 20 years, I’ve seen patterns emerge. Women who have the hardest time at menopause often had no idea how depleted they were beforehand. Culturally, we are wired to do everything for everyone else first, and this is often worn as a badge of honour. Ultimately, though, it comes at a big cost to our health.
Most women don’t struggle in menopause because they “failed” to do something. More often, societal expectations and a lack of education around self-care have left them unprepared for this transition. More often, they simply never knew how much they were running on empty in the first place. If we truly understood that self-care is not selfish but necessary, we could transition into menopause with far greater ease, ultimately claiming it as a rockstar rite of passage, rather than one of fading into the background of life as a hot sweaty emotional mess.
Listening to the Body: Your Symptoms Are Speaking to You
When a woman experiences intense hot flashes, dryness, or irritability, it’s not random. It’s her body telling a story. If you’re burning up from the inside, it’s likely that you’ve dried yourself out—emotionally and physically. While medications can help, they don’t replace the need for diet and lifestyle adjustments. The plant still needs watering—meaning our bodies still require care, nourishment, and replenishment. This means drinking enough water, eating moisture-rich foods, and making space for deep rest and emotional well-being. When we ignore these needs, we accelerate depletion and make the transition into menopause more difficult than it needs to be.
Aging is a natural process—we all dry out over time. We begin as green, bendy saplings and slowly transition into older, drier plants that can break more easily. Knowing this, we should support ourselves before we get to the point of snapping! And part of this means making nutritional and lifestyle choices that truly nourish us, rather than depleting us further.
The following factors seem to make the biggest difference in how intense the transition is:
Drinking enough water (around 2.5 litres a day is a good measure to work with. Using a sprinkling of rehydration salts in your water can help put that water into your cells)
Eating warm, nourishing foods daily (soups, stews, congees) – there are incredible bone broth pastes and powders now that make this step so much faster.
Taking regular time out for joy and fun.
As much as possible, not letting others dictate your workload. Set your own boundaries and push back – your body will tell you – it’s always talking to you :)
Knowing what a boundary feels like in your body and learning to listen to it when it has been overstepped – Don’t suck it up anymore!
Get beyond living in a constant state of survival mode, just making it through each day. What do you want in this life and how can you now get it?
Life is also about joy! So too much control and rigidity in your diet can end up being more harmful than good. Enjoy positive nights out with your girlfriends, enjoy a glass of wine here and there, bring on music, laughter and celebration!
Leading the Charge: A New Way Forward
Yes, it would be wonderful if society, workplaces, and families fully supported women through this transition. But if we wait for that day, we will continue to suffer. It has to come from us first. We have to take the lead in prioritising our well-being, whether or not the world around us is ready to accommodate it.
This International Women’s Day, let’s not just celebrate our strength, but let’s also honour our right to rest, replenish, and nurture ourselves—not just for menopause, but for the many years of wisdom, vitality, and power that lie beyond it. This also calls for broader cultural and policy shifts, such as workplace flexibility, better healthcare support, and societal recognition of the value of rest and self-care. Women should not have to choose between their well-being and financial stability.
The more we support ourselves now, the more we will thrive in the years to come. And that, in my opinion, is the only way forward.
Here’s to women, in all stages of life, reclaiming their right to well-being.